....The gaps I mean,
No one has seen them made or heard them made,
But at spring mending-time we find them there.
I let my neighbor know beyond the hill;
And on a day we meet to walk the line
And set the wall between us once again.
We keep the wall between us as we go.
To each the boulders that have fallen to each....
He is all pine and I am apple orchard.
My apple trees will never get across
And eat the cones under his pines, I tell him.
He only says, "Good fences make good neighbors...."
Before I built a wall I'd ask to know
What I was walling in or walling out,
And to whom I was like to give offence
. -from "Mending Wall" by Robert Frost
Where I grew up, walls were often about distance, isolation and anger. I didn't often see people decide together on sensible boundaries from a place of love and respect. According to the Gemara, two neighbors have a responsibility to build a wall between their properties. Reb Nosson of Breslov tells us that this wall is itself the connection between these two neighbors: the two come together with the common purpose of giving each other space and ensuring the other's privacy and room to grow. Robert Frost's "neighbors" meet only to mend their fence (obviously, Reb Nosson was even more well-read than we think).
There are a lot of "walls" in Torah -- kashrut, keeping Shabbat, modesty. These things are hard for me sometimes because I still think walls are just about separation; but if you and I are both on the inside, if we share a common intention in setting boundaries, if this wall is the subject of our hevruta, then a wall becomes a space around us that nurtures our connection. For example, if a husband and wife share a deep understanding of the nidda separation- such that this time becomes a gift of space and time that they give to each other for the sake of the relationship, then this area of life becomes a joint project that they co-own: this is their hevruta. This is true of all boundaries in the context of any relationship, and I think it's a good way to relate to halacha as well.
This is also the Mishkan; G-d gives us the opportunity to create a space for the Presence, to give Him a room of His own so we can learn to give that gift to His children.
Rav Ariel Burger
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Rav Ariel Burger received his ordination from Yeshivat Bat Ayin in 2003. He is currently completing his doctoral work at Boston University, where he studies under Professor Elie Weisel. Ariel lives in Sharon, Massachusetts with his wife and four children. |