Moshe drops the bomb on the people Israel - "G-d wants you to make a dwelling for him in the world, and He wants boards and an Ark and a table, and whoever has gold they should bring that, and whoever happens to have any trees, even though we're in the desert, they should donate that, too, and by the way we're also looking for people who know how to sew, and how to engrave stones, so we'll be expecting volunteers." And then the Torah says, "And all of the congregation Israel left from before Moshe." Dazed, I imagine, from the awesome size of the task, from the wide variety of possessions and skills they were asked to volunteer. I wonder, what do I have to volunteer? Sure, I have gold, but everyone has gold, and I have silver, but everyone has silver. Does G-d want me to give something that's uniquely me, or should we all give what is needed, namelessly?
The holy (and grossly under-read) Malbim tells us that what is special about the Mishkan, Hashem's dwelling place in the world, is that it is the focus of all the Jews' attention. Hashem dwells among us, meaning between us, in our relationships, in marriages, in friendships, any place where two or more people (or 38-plus rabbaim) can focus on something between them, central to all of them, no more one's than the other's; this is where Hashem can dwell. Every relationship or institution needs substance and upkeep; someone's got to sponsor the kiddush, someone's got to read the Torah. Someone has got to come fill the minyan. Someone's got to clean the bathrooms. In this sense, service, it could be anonymous - warm bodies. I know this relationship needs selflessness. And I am committed to keeping this relationship alive - but not just because I am generous - because I want to get something out of it, too! I go to synagogue because I want to pray. But to keep the synagogue going, I know I can't just pray when I want to; I've got to be a part of the minyan even when I don't want to pray. Upkeep. That's the gold and silver that everyone has. No one is getting a plaque with their name on it above the ark.
I want my relationship to this relationship, to this Mishkan, to be special. And I can't fill that need just by giving gold, because everyone around here has gold and silver and seal skins (?!). But I need to feel that this place which is everybody's is mine as well, distinctly mine. So what can I give? The Malbim tells us. The verse says: "Every man and woman whose heart stirred them to bring all sort of works which Hashem had commanded to make to the hands of Moshe, the children of Israel brought them as a volunteer offering to Hashem." Which, more concisely, reads: "All the people who volunteered, Israel brought them as an offering to Hashem." Meaning, the people themselves were the offering. The Malbim tells us from the Midrash that even if a person were poor, if he thought in his heart, "If only I had the means, I'd build the whole Mishkan" -- these people, the Malbim says, didn't even need the Mishkan, because they were the Mishkan themselves. I want to build the whole thing! I want to be a part of every detail, I want to sponsor the kiddush and sing in the choir (and play the organ) and clean the bathrooms. I want to be all ten people in the minyan. The Malbim is telling us so deeply, beyond the gold and silver, the way to give to a relationship what no one else can give is to give yourself fully. Give beyond your means. Give your desire, your potential. If I could, Hashem, I'd be the whole minyan, just to be sure there is a minyan in your house of worship. And then, if I give all of myself, I don't need a plaque above the ark because I see myself in every brick. There is nothing more dear I can give than myself. Nor can I expect to really receive from a relationship until I have given everything I can give. Because when I have given everything, I am in forever, in sickness and in health, and I take part in its joys as well as its sorrows. I have no right to the joys of a relationship unless I am willing to share in its sorrows and pains. So I commit fully -- I'm in. You don't have to worry about me leaving, so you can really open up now. When Hashem knows we're not leaving, He can share with us His secrets; and more importantly, He can tell us what He needs of us.
This model works for all kinds of relationships. Perhaps we are afraid we will be the only one giving. Or perhaps we're waiting for someone else to give first. But the truth is: be the first, because one person gives himself to a relationship, and it makes everyone else love that relationship. They see that it is not only worthwhile, but it is touched by G-d, it is human and dynamic and real. I urge us both and all to give first and give fully, both as fulfilling the needs of the relationship selflessly, and as committing ourselves with every bit of our personality in a sense of real, loving involvement.
Rav Gavriel Goldfeder
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Rav Gavriel Goldfeder is one of the first semicha recipients of the yeshiva. A graduate of Drew University in Religious Studies, he came to Bat Ayin after stints in other yeshivot and found a spiritual and intellectual home. Here he met his wife, Ketriellah, who was a student in our short-lived Women's Yeshiva. Upon graduation, Gavriel took the position of rabbi of the Aish Kodesh Congregation in Boulder, Colorado and together with Ketriellah and their growing family, they are busy creating (in Gavriel's words), "a community infused with Torah values, passion for learning and prayer, consideration of one another, and action, as well as deep celebration of the joys of life." |