The Malbim tells us that just as the body has clothes which are called "midot" (character traits) according to the measurements of the body, so too the soul has "midot" which give the soul a presence and availability in the world. We can never really relate to a person's soul - only to their midot. It is hard to say that we design our midot. Rather, much of our personality seems to have been determined before we have the chance to decide. For example, a certain trait I inherited from dad or mom, or an opinion formed by an early childhood experience. Many of these cannot (or should not) be challenged - only accepted and worked with. We do, however, have the capacity to create new midot - new vessles of expression. The truth is, our soul wants to express in its full, wacky, unmitigated glow, that which cannot be limited and does not fit into any garment or vessel; that part of us wants to be expressed, too. But it's too big, we don't feel like anything will suffice, we act frustrated.
Though it may be frustrating or even counter-intuitive, we must provide for ourselves access to our own unlimitedness. Though no vessels can be made for the ein-sof (the infinite) within us (the same way that no vessels can hold G-d), Hashem commands us to do so anyway. "Asu li mishkan," make for me a dwelling. Paradoxically, unsure of ourselves, we must do it -- with great fear and trembling we must try to let it out. These vessels must be so loose, but they must be tangible. Be it drawing, drumming, screaming, praying, breathing, we must seek to provide for ourselves some outlet for the infinite within us. We must make garments so the rest of the world can see our souls and relate to us on that level. It is risky, there is danger of stifling that spirit by making it so tangible. But I urge us all to find the one thing we are able to do where we can let go entirely and manifest our most elusive parts in the world.
Rav Gavriel Goldfeder
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Rav Gavriel Goldfeder is one of the first semicha recipients of the yeshiva. A graduate of Drew University in Religious Studies, he came to Bat Ayin after stints in other yeshivot and found a spiritual and intellectual home. Here he met his wife, Ketriellah, who was a student in our short-lived Women's Yeshiva. Upon graduation, Gavriel took the position of rabbi of the Aish Kodesh Congregation in Boulder, Colorado and together with Ketriellah and their growing family, they are busy creating (in Gavriel's words), "a community infused with Torah values, passion for learning and prayer, consideration of one another, and action, as well as deep celebration of the joys of life." |