I am Pharoah. This wonderful nation inside of me, so dynamic and varied, so many different pieces, talents, voices. So many experiences I've had that could be made to serve G-d, such a rich life that is forgotten under the pressing whip of today's struggle. I am a wedge between the past and the present, between what is and what could be, between learning and knowing, between believing and Believing. Believing enough to let go but I hold on - I want to run the show, call the shots. I want to describe the unity of my experiences, I want to rouse my talents to serve G-d, I want to accomplish everything myself. Moshe in many ways the opposite, in many ways similar. He approaches the line of total self-nullification and is afraid. He wants to bear the staff of power in his clenched fist; even though he knows it's Hashem, he fears, his identity as a self is slowly being taken away. Hashem says, "Throw your staff down!" and it is a snake. All of those powers are mine, the staff of power is nothing, but I'll let you wear the crown for My sake. Pick up that staff again, but this time, hold it lightly upon your palm. I let you hold it, but it is Mine. Pharoah holds on too tight and must suffer. Moshe wants to give up everything; he is to Hashem, but he can't quite do it. Perhaps he also doesn't quite believe that the Hashem who is talking to him is the Master of the Universe, that this is the real thing.
And you, reader, do you believe the words of the Torah are the words of the Master of the World you live in?
Rav Gavriel Goldfeder
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Rav Gavriel Goldfeder is one of the first semicha recipients of the yeshiva. A graduate of Drew University in Religious Studies, he came to Bat Ayin after stints in other yeshivot and found a spiritual and intellectual home. Here he met his wife, Ketriellah, who was a student in our short-lived Women's Yeshiva. Upon graduation, Gavriel took the position of rabbi of the Aish Kodesh Congregation in Boulder, Colorado and together with Ketriellah and their growing family, they are busy creating (in Gavriel's words), "a community infused with Torah values, passion for learning and prayer, consideration of one another, and action, as well as deep celebration of the joys of life." |