"And Isaac entreated the Lord for the sake of his wife because she was barren (Bereshit 25:21)."
"For his wife" was not written, but rather, "for the sake of his wife." This teaches that both of them were barren. And why were the forefathers barren? Rabbi Isaac said: "Because G-d desires the prayers of the righteous (Yevamot 60b)."
When I read this explanation, I became furious. G-d brings difficulties onto righteous men in order that they should pray? That is awful. Shouldn't G-d want us to pray out of our own free will? Shouldn't G-d want to answer a righteous man's prayers quickly? Aren't a righteous man's prayers of thanksgiving on the same level as his prayers of need? How can G-d reward goodness with bad? Is serving G-d faithfully only for losers? I'm sure I must not understand this properly, but…
"Everyone that G-d loves, He pressed upon him with troubles (Berachot 5a)."
I had to come to an understanding of this, or my prayers would suffer. I am far indeed from being righteous, but I find it difficult to try to build a relationship with G-d if these are his terms. I came up with a few solutions that help me on certain levels but I would very much like to hear others. This is what I came up with: I find it difficult to believe that G-d's will changes for the worse with a person's good deeds and prayers. Perhaps it is not His will that changes, but rather, it's the individual's perception of G-d's will that becomes expanded. An expanded perception might lead to an increased awareness of G-d and His wonderful presence in this world, but it would also lead to a greater awareness of pain and darkness. Wouldn't this cause a righteous man to suffer? Being a tzaddik is a rough job. Perhaps G-d wants the tzaddik to pray for the entire world, so He causes the tzaddik to increase his prayer.
Rav Daniel Cohen gave me an answer that was profound in its simplicity. He quoted to me the Borei Nefashot after-blessing that we say after foods that aren't bread or one of the Seven Species of the Land of Israel; "Blessed are You, G-d, King of the Universe, Who creates numerous living things with their deficiencies, for all that you have created with which to maintain the life of everything." He said simply, "We need to need." Of course! Need, lacking, troubles: they force us to move forward and to change. They are the basis for interactions between people and for our turning to G-d. G-d has blessed us with troubles to help us grow and go beyond our limits. Problems force us to go beyond where we would be, even where we thought we could be, had we not been forced.
I was talking with Motti, and he said that being down is like standing on the edge of a cliff; we can either fall off into the depths and suffer more damage, or we can realize that we are in a bad space and move to a better space where we can heal. I agreed, but said that there was a third possibility; we can use the edge of cliff as a point from which to leap into space, perhaps to fly or perhaps to fall.
This may all be true but there is an opposing opinion. A chassid once came to Rav Elimelech and asked him how he could learn to thank G-d despite the troubles in his life; it was so difficult, he said, to make a living and still concentrate on serving G-d. Rav Elimelech told the chassid to go to Reb Zushya and to ask him this question. When the chassid came to Reb Zushya's house, he saw that it was falling apart, and that the wind blew through all the holes in the walls and windows. The roof was in awful condition and could hardly have offered much protection from the rain. When Reb Zushya welcomed the chassid into his home, the chassid saw that Reb Zushya and his family were undernourished and their clothes were ragged. Reb Zushya's frail body was racked with coughing. The chassid suddenly understood why Rav Elimelech had sent him here for the answer to his question. He told Reb Zushya that he had been sent to ask him how to serve G-d despite all his hardships. A puzzled expression came across Reb Zushya's face, and he said, "I am sorry, but I don't understand why Rav Elimelech send you to me. I truly don't know how to answer your question because, in my entire life, I have never suffered any hardship!"