Sarah Nadborney, in her book Twelve Dimensions of Israel, tells us that Kislev is the month of the fixing of dreams and visions. There are two kinds of dreams - there are sleeping dreams, which are an opportunity for our unconscious to send us messages as to whether it feels it is being given sufficient attention, or whether we are neglecting parts of ourselves, hiding things from ourselves, etc. These are dreams of now, that reflect life as it is. There are also dreams we have of the future, a vision of where we see ourselves in a month or a year, who we see ourselves being with, etc. Nadborney writes, "[Exile] is the gap that exists between our lives and our visions." It is from this gap that we suffer. When this long exile is over, "we will have been like dreamers;" we will be like our dreams. In this month, we learn how to dream and how to relate to our dreams. It's two steps - bringing our dreams a bit closer to us, to reality, and moving ourselves and our reality a bit closer to our dreams. This doesn't mean sacrificing our dreams necessarily; it could mean breaking them down a bit. Dreams become goals. Within this is Yaakov - he doesn't have the far vision of his father, who is perhaps the ultimate seer into the future, concerned with his progeny's well-being. Nor is he like Yitzhak, who in some ways refuses to dream, and therefore cannot move. Yaakov brings Avraham's dream a little closer, and moves from the holy stasis of Yitzhak toward that dream. Avraham asks, "How can I be sure that my children will inherit the land?" As Nadborney points out, exile is the distance between our lives and our dreams. Avraham's question, too far, afraid the passion he has will burn out. The result of his question, R' Nachman says, is the exile itself. "And a great darkness fell upon him…" Yitzhak, on the other hand, dreams this way: "If G-d will give me food to eat and clothes to wear…" Still a dream, but closer, able to be fulfilled in his lifetime. We must dream; dreams give us life and hope. But let our dreams not be our downfall and cause for disappointment. Rather they should be our beacons placed before us, ahead of us slightly, moving as we move, growing as we grow.
Rav Gavriel Goldfeder
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Rav Gavriel Goldfeder is one of the first semicha recipients of the yeshiva. A graduate of Drew University in Religious Studies, he came to Bat Ayin after stints in other yeshivot and found a spiritual and intellectual home. Here he met his wife, Ketriellah, who was a student in our short-lived Women's Yeshiva. Upon graduation, Gavriel took the position of rabbi of the Aish Kodesh Congregation in Boulder, Colorado and together with Ketriellah and their growing family, they are busy creating (in Gavriel's words), "a community infused with Torah values, passion for learning and prayer, consideration of one another, and action, as well as deep celebration of the joys of life." |