The Gemara says: "If you fix a place to pray for yourself, the G-d of Avraham will be your helper, and after you are gone, people will talk about what a humble and pious person you were." Also, the Gemara says: "If you fix a place to pray for yourself, your enemies will fall instead of you." What does the first statement have to do with the second?
R. Daniel mentioned that a humble person knows his place in the world and prays for nothing more than to occupy that place, which is a difficult thing to accomplish when his enemies are attempting to remove him from exactly that place. When his enemies have fallen, he is able to pray clearly and distinctly from a place of knowing how and where he fits into Hashem's creation, and what he needs from Hashem to occupy and fulfill his place.
Relating to this issue, a question arises in the Gemara about whether one should become engaged to be married on Chol HaMoed or not; after all, marriage during that time is forbidden in order to prevent the joy of one celebration mingling with the joy of another celebration. But engagement? The answer is brought: yes, you should get engaged, so as to prevent someone else from engaging your beloved first! But, asks the Gemara -- haven't we learned elsewhere that G-d pairs-off souls before they have even come into the physical world (meaning, isn't it impossible to disrupt G-d's predetermined plan of which man will match up with which woman)? Ahh -- that may be true, comes the answer -- but perhaps the "other guy" will daven more strongly than you, and thus merit to marry the woman you hoped to marry! The Gemara says, can davenning really have this much power?
A story is brought about a man who was davenning with all his might that he might marry a certain girl. Rava overhears this man's prayers and later informs him that davenning for the "acquisition" of a wife is tantamount to denying G-d's providence, since G-d has already determined who/what we'll receive and how/when we will/will not receive them! Corrected, the man desisted and continued about his business, but later Rava overheard his prayers again, in which the man vehemently prayed not for his marriage to the woman, but for his own death in the event that she marry someone else, or for her death in the event that she marry someone else! We see through this story that you should get engaged on Chol Hamoed -- because what if this man's prayers were to come true, G-d forbid?
Accordingly, we should try to focus our prayers not on our own individual desires (which are also definitely valid and should be given space for expression) but perhaps we should pray that G-d reveal to us what is appropriate or fitting for us, what sets us into our appropriate place to serve and worship Him, and then for Him to put us into that place so that we can fix it as a place from which to daven and relate to Him. Good Shabbes!
Jerry Silverman
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Jerry Silverman is a former student of Yeshivat Bat Ayin. He is working in new media, designing and managing media projects. He lives in Riverdale, NY with his wife Sarah and their two children. |