On the mysterious verse, "And [Avram] believed in Hashem, and he considered it to be tzdaka (charity)," the Kotzker Rebbe z"tzl says that Avram considered it to be a tzdaka, a charitable gift from Hashem that he was able to believe in Hashem, and Avram knew that he had not accomplished it from his own heart. We must get past the idea of needing to deserve, and learn how to receive Hashem's gifts to us with love and humility. I heard a wise woman say, "We cannot know how to give until we know how to receive." The extent to which we may love others is a direct reflection of how we are able to receive love from Hashem. If we take from Him only what we think we deserve, then we will have only that small amount to give to others. If instead we can sacrifice that part of ourselves that wants to deserve to Hashem and allow ourselves to be channels for Ahavat Olam (Divine Love) that goes way beyond our wildest ideas and imaginations, a love that is infinitely larger than the vessels we have to hold that love, then there will be no lack. What prevents us from receiving that love in a bigger way? We may not think we are worthy, so we struggle to attain what we can when we can. And I am not perfect, so Hashem doesn't love me so much. Let me tell you something: being a thinker, I have always heard: "Yeah, Hashem loves you so much," and I have never been able to accept it. Show me proof. And then I realized I was feeling Hashem's love the way I love, which is constricted and limited and based on deserving. And with that, I realized that the way I was experiencing Hashem's love is not Hashem's love at all - Hashem's love, unlike my own, is not dependent upon anything, not dependent on whether I am having a good day or a bad day. So let us learn to love with a love supreme, to love the higher love, and to learn humbly from Hashem who chose Avraham when he was still called Avram.
Rav Gavriel Goldfeder
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Rav Gavriel Goldfeder is one of the first semicha recipients of the yeshiva. A graduate of Drew University in Religious Studies, he came to Bat Ayin after stints in other yeshivot and found a spiritual and intellectual home. Here he met his wife, Ketriellah, who was a student in our short-lived Women's Yeshiva. Upon graduation, Gavriel took the position of rabbi of the Aish Kodesh Congregation in Boulder, Colorado and together with Ketriellah and their growing family, they are busy creating (in Gavriel's words), "a community infused with Torah values, passion for learning and prayer, consideration of one another, and action, as well as deep celebration of the joys of life." |