Friends ? I don't know about you, but sometimes I just want someone to give me the answer. I get fed-up with struggling to find the deeper meanings behind the paradoxes that underlie our existence, and simply want to be handed an annotated map of how things came to be the way they are, how I fit into all of it, and how I can maximize my time on this earth. Why do "answers" so consistently elude me, and what mysterious inner force compels me to seek this deeper closeness amidst all my failed and half-failed attempts? Do I somehow imagine that I'll be more "at peace," more happy and complete once all of my philosophical speculations and life challenges have found their resolutions? Do I really believe that such resolutions are even possible?
The Godly soul, according to the Malbim, innocently yearns to join with its supernal Source, to shed the confinements of time, space and consciousness, not only in the interest of finding and clinging to its root, but also in order to transcend the paradox engendered by existence itself - a finite world surrounded and permeated by an infinite God. When God appeared to King Solomon in his first "night vision (recorded in the Song of Songs)," He likened each force that guides our actions in this world to a horse, pulling the physical body in a different direction. In this parable, each aspect of physicality joins together to form "the cavalry of Pharoah," which entices the body into the confinements of this finite world. God tells King Solomon's soul, "I liken you, my beloved, to a mare in the cavalry of Pharoah (1:9)," including the soul within the multitude of forces vying for dominance over the body. "You, my darling, have been sent to guide the body into a deeper correspondence with My essence. It's true - in your essence, you resemble and belong with Me, but behold - 'Your cheeks are comely with rows of jewels, your neck with strings of beads (1:10)' - through your incarnation into the world of physicality, you have gained 'beautiful adornments;' abilities to relate to time, space and consciousness, abilities to vocalize, enunciate, and contemplate - the very abilities with which you must lead the rest of the 'cavalry' back into correspondence with Me! For this reason, I call you 'my beloved!' "
Our souls aren't meant to merely strive towards their Source - they are meant to direct the entirety of Creation towards its Source. In order to do this, they must be engaged in the process of relationship with the entirety of Creation; they must know its logic, its parameters, its language. This is the soul's twofold responsibility - to know the world's ways so that she may guide it in her Higher way. To ignore the cavalry is to ignore her responsibility. To remain in a state of 'innocent' yearning, without involvement, is to supersede her own potential for deeper connection. To give-up is to remain unadorned, unbeloved.
We should be blessed this and every Shabbat and Shavuot with the abilities to let ourselves (and all of our worldly powers) be drawn after the beautifully adorned soul who longs so much, through us, to realize her purpose in the world, and to be beloved by directing all of Creation unto its Source - Amen, Chag Sameach, Good Shabbes -
Jerry Silverman
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Jerry Silverman is a former student of Yeshivat Bat Ayin. He is working in new media, designing and managing media projects. He lives in Riverdale, NY with his wife Sarah and their two children. |