The ninth day of Av recalls some of the darkest episodes in our history. Accordingly, we are commanded to mourn for Jerusalem and the Temple during this day and the antecedent period. But how can I mourn for Jerusalem when I live in Jerusalem and -- thank God -- it's nice?
The significance of the disasters and tragedies that fell on the ninth of Av, as well as our mourning, is encoded partially in the date. The ninth of Av alludes to the nine months of pregnancy, and the ninth letter of the Hebrew alphabet è - Tet resembles graphically the womb. During pregnancy, the new soul to be birthed into the world is both concealed and developing; this concealment is essential for the development. Similarly, the concealment of the divine presence at this time, including the exile, its concomitants, and suffering in general, is essential for our development.
How and why the concealment is necessary can be important questions. I do want to understand what's happening! Yet before I can truly ask these questions (and not merely reject reality with question-sounding words), I must trust Hashem and believe that indeed He gives us the darkness for the ultimate good of the creation, of our people, and indeed of myself. 'My God, in You I have trusted...', King David wrote. Then he continued, 'Your way, Hashem, make known to me.' (Tehilim, 25, verses 2 and 4)
Satisfaction with Jerusalem is concealment more profound than mourning. The first step in any process of improvement is the discovery of a problem. 'We are not so insolent nor so obstinate to say before You, Hashem, our God and God of our forefathers, "We are righteous and have not sinned"; in fact we have sinned...' (Vidduy).
This is the season running up to Sukkot. Now we should be planning our trip to the Temple. These are the final chapters of the Torah scroll, Moshe's last advice before we settle the land. Now we should be renewing our efforts to build the society dedicated to the revelation of Hashem. Are we?
The nearly full circle of the è and 9 must not be confused with the infinite completion of its successor é - Yod - 10. The fast of the ninth of Av seems similar to that of the tenth of Tishrei, Yom Kippur; but they are worlds apart.
The è - 9 entity has a very peculiar arithmetic property. It begets itself. Begin with 9. Marry her to an integral husband. Let them multiply, and now examine their off-spring. The child's digits total 9. For example, 9*6 = 54 and 5+4 = 9; and 9*111 = 999, 9+9+9 = 27, which is not equal to nine, but if we just press one step further, we discover 2+7 = 9. Equivalently, the gematria qatan of any multiple of è is è. The wholeness of this world is in this regenerating, recursive fractal process.
In itself, this world of process comes up hopelessly short; it settles nowhere; it is hevel - vanity - vapor; Tet begins to sound like German tot - dead; the nine kinds of vessel that contract impurity persistently become impure; the womb sheds its lining, and the form of the è is a snake biting at its own tail. Known as a sign concealing perhaps more than she reveals, however, the è is the gateway between finite and infinite, the interface between a vergeful world and the Beyond-Beyond. The difference is emunah. The trust that Hashem means something by all this transforms my sense of reality, and indeed transforms reality.
'Give thanks to Hashem for He is good! For [no matter how hidden] His lovingkindness is never ending! ... Proclaim this, those who sat imprisoned in darkness and in the shadow of death, bound in affliction and iron, because they rebelled against the words of God and scorned the counsel of the Most High. Therefore He humbled their heart with travail: He made them stumble [in order to realize that] there was no help [other than His]. Only then did they cry to Hashem in their distress to deliver them from their straits. ...But He will raise the needy from affliction and establish [their] families like flocks of sheep. ... Let he who is wise observe these things, and contemplate deeply Hashem's lovingkindnesses.' (Tehilim, Ch. 107, verses 1, 10-13, 41, 43, trans. R. Avraham Sutton, brackets are also his.)