Avraham was known as a searcher for truth. As the Midrash relates, he began to pursue knowledge of G-d at age three. The danger of searching for G-d, of being by nature a searcher for G-d, who is 'unreachable', is that such a person might never stop searching. He might see every understanding he has of G-d as unreliable, for there is certainly deeper understanding and relationship to be had. Similarly, as Rebbe Nachman writes, a person must always do teshuva on his teshuva - there is always further to go in relationship to G-d. But there must also be times of satisfaction and rest.
These are real dangers for an iconoclast. As Avraham is the original iconoclast, he may be tempted to break anything that might be idolatrous throughout his life. But we find in the Midrash an interesting facet of Avraham's attitude toward worship. The Midrash writes that when Avraham was three years old, he peeked out of a cave, looking for his creator (Platonic imagery intended?). He sees the sun, recognizes its life-giving powers, and assumes the sun must be G-d. When the sun sets and the moon rises, he sees that the moon must be more powerful than the sun, and worships the moon. When the moon sets and the sun again rises, he realizes that there must be a power beyond both of these transient powers, and finds the true Creator. Though there is much to discuss within this Midrash, it is noteworthy that Avraham does not wait to see if the sun will retain its power over him. In the place of philosophical distance, set back from reality in order to find the 'truth', he chooses to worship according to his understanding. Though there are certainly dangers in this as well, this approach is pervaded by a certain purity and innocence - a clear willingness to find 'what to worship', as opposed to the search being an expression of an eternal iconoclasm, destined to fail.
Avraham teaches us an important lesson: when G-d appeared to him in Elon Moreh, the Torah tells us that Avraham built an altar to 'Hashem who appeared to him.' Though he certainly knew that knowledge of Hashem would be eternally elusive - and the iconoclast in him raged - he also understood the importance of honoring that relationship as it unfolds.
We must be sure to serve G-d as we continue to deepen our relationship to Him. In a way, the three pillars upon which the world stands - Torah (knowledge of G-d and what G-d wants), service of G-d and acts of kindness - must be taken as three distinct pathways. Though they certainly inform each other, they should never hold each other back.
However, Avraham is also told that he must not get stuck in a temporary understanding of Hashem. This is indicated by the hunger he feels after some time in Israel - as written, 'they were not hungry for bread, and not thirsty for water, but to hear the word of G-d.' It is important to know that this hunger is not a lack in the seeker, but 'there was a famine in the land' - the land itself, one's location in space and time, though it is at first satisfying, will eventually be seen as lacking.
The harbinger of each new stage in the journey is a test. Each stage, when its necessity has faded, offers itself as an addiction. Whereas it was once reached-for beacon of greater depth in relationship, it may become a magnet of fear. The test is to be willing and able to leave one level at the right time in order to move toward the next.
A test sometimes requires opposite behavior with the same person. This may involve bringing someone close when it is difficult, and pushing them away when it is difficult. Rambam therefore tells us that one of Avraham's tests was marrying Hagar, and another test was sending her away.
Thus Avraham is required to see the necessity of going down to Egypt immediately after his much-anticipated arrival in Israel. Egypt - always a place of exile - is the place where a person must go to gain deeper emunah. Though Avraham has reached a certain level of emunah already by following Hashem's command to travel toward a land he does not know, and he has had a moment to enjoy the relationship afforded by that emunah, the time has come to go deeper.
Avraham and Sarah's descent into Egypt is characterized by an apparent fall in level of consciousness - suddenly, as they come nearer, Avraham notices that Sarah is physically beautiful. As Rashi mentions, because of their modesty toward each other, he had never noticed. But as is explained in Rebbe Nachman, they are affected by their surroundings as they enter among a people who are very base. This descent will ultimately serve them both, but it is certainly distressing as they experience it.
Another attribute of the descent is that people become dependent upon one another. As Avraham asks Sarah to do him the favor of acting as his sister, we see the need to deepen relationships with each other as the relationship to Hashem is for the moment not providing gratification.
As explained, the relationship to Hashem moves in cycles - what Rebbe Nachman calls ratzo vashov - going and returning. The 'going' is the moment of clarity with G-d. The shov is the integration of that level of G-d-clarity into the human realm. Therefore, the depth of certainty and satisfaction Avraham experienced during his short time in Israel will best be retained if it is integrated into his earthly relationships.
Avraham certainly knew that his wife was barren - having no womb, as Rashi tells us. But he asks her 'let me be indebted to you' - he wants his bond with her to be deeper, and in saying so expresses his commitment to her as the partner in his destiny. The Gemarra BM 59a reiterates this point by telling us 'let a man always be concerned with the honor of his wife, for blessing is found in his house for her sake, as it says, And he did well with Avraham on account of her…'
Egypt is always simultaneously a test of faith and a source of great wealth - as Hashem promises Avraham, his offspring will leave Egypt 'with great wealth'. The descent afforded by the cycle is an opportunity to gain wealth - substance and body of relationship that can become a vessel for holding spiritual growth and insight.
As Avraham and Sarah leave Egypt, they go to Bet E-l, the place where they originally camped and built an altar. One's relationship to Hashem moves forward without unnecessary changes of 'place'. Going back to the same place, the same mitzvot or prayer book or the like, serves as a dependable and consistent latticework for the growth of the relationship. A change of scenery or behavior is not necessary. As we will see with Yitzhak, the wells that are dug become filled in with sand and neglect, and need only be dug again to bear living waters.
At this point, Avraham and Lot part ways. It is difficult to recognize when a person is inhibiting one from moving forward in relationship to G-d. While Sarah is his partner in destiny, Lot is a distraction. Whereas his relationship to Sarah can serve as a vessel to hold the spiritual insight he gains in his relationship to G-d, his relationship to Lot serves as the opposite, causing unnecessary challenges. One must be well-attuned to tell the difference between the two.
Avraham is guided by Hashem toward recognizing the necessity of forward spiritual movement as well as the necessity of spiritual stasis for the sake of integration. This point is further exemplified in the Midrash that has Avraham at age 3 peeking out of a cave and looking for his creator. He sees the sun, recognizes its life-giving powers, and assumes the sun must be G-d. When the sun sets and the moon rises, he sees that the moon must be more powerful than the sun, and worships the moon. When the moon sets and the sun again rises, he realizes that there must be a power beyond both of these transient powers, and finds the true Creator.
The Midrash we brought above about Avraham peeking out from the cave offers us a sense of G-d beyond the sun and the moon. Though these would be obvious choices if one were looking for physical bodies to worship, they also represent these different approaches to G-d. The moon, in its shape, is always changing. It represents the aspect of relationship to G-d that is never consummated and is always moving - it is the astronomical iconoclast. The sun, on the other hand, represents consistency, never diminishing. When it adorns the day sky, it is received in its fullness. Avraham, emerging from the cave, sees both of these, tries worshipping one and then the other, and ultimately realizes that neither one of them can be worshipped per se. In that moment, we might say, he recognizes the necessity of becoming what Rebbe Nachman calls 'an expert in rtazo v'shov.
Gemarra Nedarim 32a writes that, when Avraham was told 'walk before me and be tamim (simple, integrity, etc)', Avraham was gripped with fear, and thought to himself, 'is something missing in me?' When Hashem told him the reason - 'so that I may establish my covenant with you', Avraham was calmed.
At each stage of the spiritual journey, a person might feel that he has reached a level of perfection - and in a sense he has. But he should not be surprised that there is another step waiting for him. This is not to imply that he has been imperfect, for by the standards of that moment, he was perfect, and he did achieve all that was expected of him. At the right moment, however, a new level opens up, offering another level of perfection. Therefore Avraham was gripped by fear - did I not do enough? - but was calmed when told that it would afford him a new, deeper level of relationship to Hashem.
Rav Gavriel Goldfeder
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Rav Gavriel Goldfeder is one of the first semicha recipients of the yeshiva. A graduate of Drew University in Religious Studies, he came to Bat Ayin after stints in other yeshivot and found a spiritual and intellectual home. Here he met his wife, Ketriellah, who was a student in our short-lived Women's Yeshiva. Upon graduation, Gavriel took the position of rabbi of the Aish Kodesh Congregation in Boulder, Colorado and together with Ketriellah and their growing family, they are busy creating (in Gavriel's words), "a community infused with Torah values, passion for learning and prayer, consideration of one another, and action, as well as deep celebration of the joys of life." |