With Rosh Hashanah just over a week away, we are faced with the challenges of how to prepare for the coming intimate encounter with the Source of all life. How to plead? What to work on? And maybe even the hardest question (at least for me) is where to start?
In Parashat Nitzavim there is a pussik that got my attention. Chapter 30:3 says the following," v'shav Hashem Alokecha et shavutecha v'rechemtacha v'shav v'kebeitzch mecal-ha'amim asher heyfetzcha Hashem, Alokecha sha-ma." (Then Hashem, your G-d, will return your captivity and have mercy upon you, and He will gather you in from all the peoples to where Hashem, your G-d, has scattered you).
From a first reading, it seems that we are scattered and that there will come a time when we will be brought in (to our land). But after reading Rashi, (according to his first interpretation) we see a bit deeper into the passuk. Rashi says that it should have said, v'heysheev et sh'vutecha, (Hashem your G-d) will restore your captivity. The verb root "shoov" means to return in the kal, or simple, intransitive form of the verb. Its past tense is "shav". With the added vav in front of it (v'shav, as in the passuk) it means "he will return" or "he will come back." Such a form cannot take on an object.In the causative (hif'il) form, however, the verb is transitive and takes an the object. That's why Rashi says that it should use the word "v'heysheev" to imply the object is the Jewish people to return.
The sages learn out from the passuk that the Shechina (the Divine Presence), if it were possible to speak this way, rests with the Jewish nation in exile. And when the nation is redeemed, G-d will also "be redeemed" and return with them. So the passuk is telling us that it's not just us, the Jewish people, who are in exile, Hashem is also in exile, so to speak.
This understanding leads us now to ask, why is it that we are in exile? And if so, how to escape the shackles that weigh us down in foreign lands and even in our own land! And further, how can the Shechina be in exile?
In "Iggeret HaTeshuvah" by the Ba'al H'Tanya (R. Shneur Zalman of Liadi zt'l), he addresses some of these questions. There he say that the Sages of blessed memory say, "It is not within our hands to understand the reason for either the tranquility of the wicked or suffering of the righteous." The Ba'al H'Tanya (from now on I will refer to as just Tanya) explains that "in our hands" is specified, i.e.: in this time of exile after the destruction of the Temple, when the wicked receive added strength through kelipot (shells that conceal holiness) and sitra achra (the other side, meaning "evil" energy). But when the sinner repents, he removes this bad influence and returns the "spiritual flow," pouring out from the Shechina, to its proper place. The Tanya now brings the passuk already mentioned above (Devarim 30:3). He also explains it to mean that Hashem will also return with the Jewish nation. The Tanya also quotes the gemara in Megillah 29a, " Scripture does not say, 'He shall bring back,' but that Hashem Himself will return." This is telling every Jew that through repentance we free ourselves from our spiritual exile, and in doing so, we will liberate "your G-d" (the Shechina, the source of all souls), from exile too.
This sounds very nice but how do we do teshuvah (repent) properly? I struggle with this everyday and continually ask myself where to begin or how even to begin this process?
The Tanya explains that there are two elements in lower teshuvah (I will not discuss the upper level of teshuvah). First we need to awaken Hashem's supreme compassion for our souls. Then we can work on the subjugation and nullification of evil.
He explains; first we fall from a lofty height, the Infinite Source of Life, into a deep pit. First we are born and leave the upper worlds and are placed here. Through sin, we fall into a deep pit. We fall into the chambers of kelipot and sitra achra. How does this happen? It happens from our own retreat from holy thought, action, and speech. A person (hopefully) will not be satisfied with their bad thoughts and actions. Then one will be driven to meditate on the greatness of the Infinite One, who permeates all worlds. Of course, each person contemplates according to his or her own level of understanding, and will be grieved by such contemplation - this is the first level of lower teshuvah.
The second element for one to prepare for true teshuvah is to crush and subdue the sitra achra. This force is completely rooted in the opposite of kedusha (holiness). But since your heart has been humbled, broken and you feel a sense of personal unworthiness, you are now able to crush the sitra achra. The Tanya continues that once one is in this state, one should meditate on how through one's sins, he/she has brought about the exile of the Divine Presence that, in turn, enables ones soul to be uprooted from the Divine Source of life. Also, contemplate on how one has demoted the soul to the depths of the sitra achra. For when this lowly state is one's reality, the soul is a vehicle for the sitra achra. One has no will of one's own and is completely subservient to the sitra achra. That's why it says in the gemara (Berachot 18b), "the wicked while alive are called dead."
The Tanya is telling us that we, even in our lowest state, have the power to return to the original lofty state which we came from, rooted in the Infinite Knower of All Mysteries. We can always examine our ways and desire to re-connect to Hashem. When we pierce the heavens with our cries and tears, Hashem opens a window and pours forth kindness and mercy on our souls.
Although doing teshuvah can seem overwhelming, we can learn another point from the Tanya. What does the verse mean when it says," I have erased your transgressions like a thick cloud." (Yeshayahu 44:22) The Tanya explains that the prophet compares sins to a cloud that dims the light of the sun. But these sins are not the really big, horrible sins that one can do. They refer to the lesser sins that often times get overlooked or brushed off to the side. "That's a little sin, I don't have to worry so much about that," we might think. Or "Those are not so harmful." So these sins obscure as do a cloud. The Tanya continues with a mashal (parable). If you block the sunlight with many fine, flimsy curtains, they will block the sun just as much as one thick curtain, and even more.
So, with all of our thin, flimsy "sins" which we easily brush off, we see that they obscure the Divine Light. We need to look to the finer details of our everyday dealings in speech, thought, ignoring the needy, basic everyday interactions and many other areas to see that they are making significant differences in our Avodat Hashem (service of Hashem) and simply being able to receive the spiritual flow that wants to penetrate our entire being and neshamah (soul). By doing this work we will merit the return to our land and be able to build the House in which the Shechina can dwell in splendor, the Beit Hamikdash (Temple). We should all be blessed with the strength and courage to carefully examine our ways and to pour our hearts out to The Almighty so that we will all be able to do teshuvah sh'lemah (full repentance) and merit being inscribed into the book of life for another year.
Shabbat shalom.