[Editor's note: the following piece requires careful reading, and is worth every moment devoted to understanding the profound notions woven together by the author]
I cannot think of fitting words to describe what is happening around here. The profound invigorating energy of Teshuva, new beginnings and refreshed aspirations seems to be permeating the depths of everything around us, giving off the arousing sound of the shofar blast which connects to the depths of our beings and awakens fresh hope and vitality from within, lifting us into action.
It's Elul, the Jewish month of preparation for the coming New Year, which coincides with the first semester of Yeshiva, designed to launch us off on a spring board into whichever unknown direction we choose to face. As long as you're active you're in the game.
In Bat Ayin, we have the merit this year to see many new faces. We begin a new tractate of Talmud called Gittin which is all about the procedure of legal divorce. I would like to try to express an insight that came to me during Talmud study which was inspired by the time of year we are in, concluded by the parasha (torah portion) of the week, and expressed beautifully by a poem of Rav Kook whose yartzeit (Jewish remembrance on the day a person died) was this week.
Teshuva is the Hebrew word for repentance, though it has been largely misinterpreted by the modern understanding of repentance, which is foreign to the tradition of Teshuva as it dates back to before the creation of the world. No that was not a typo, the midrash states that Teshuva was created prior to the creation of the world, which on its simple level can be understood as teaching us that G-d, in His Kindness, created an ability for creation to return to Him even before any existing "distance" from Him.
On a yet deeper level we can learn from here that the phenomenon of Teshuva is not time-bound or space-bound, rather it can be found anywhere and anytime. This is verified by many stories and teachings of the early sages.
But what is It? "It" obviously cannot be fully defined in words, since it is from before there was any context of "things" with which we can relate it to. One thing we can say that Teshuva is not, is a becoming of something "else", something other than who we truly are. We can also say that Teshuva, which literally means "returning", is a process of becoming more of who we really are, returning to our true selves, which at that point before creation was no different than any other "self" or any other part of creation. To truly return to that point, however, is impossible since we would naturally cease to exist and be absorbed back into the All, where everything is fused into an utter Oneness, which on our terms means absolute "nothingness". So… we need to return, but not return to nothingness, we need to return to "somethingness". We need to place a "mirror" between our True selves of before creation and reflect out our physical external self in reality. Then, with this mirror in place, return. Return to the world. Every step we now take deeper into this created "distanced" world, with our intention fixed firmly on the Truth that it is reflecting, will bring us one step closer to that truth while at the same time giving It a stronger foundation in our concrete reality. In this way we get the best of both worlds, the higher up we go to our true source in Godliness, instead of returning to a state of non-being, we "return" to a place of true unity, a unity which is un-fused, where each part is completely unique yet completely together at the same time. The farther we seemingly go from the world of complete rest into the world of action actually brings us closer to the ultimate complete rest. The ultimate Shabbat; which our holy Rabbis teach is synonymous with Teshuva. The Ari teaches that Olam Habah (the world to come), is a world of constant "coming" (olam also means perpetual), constant returning, where (as he says in his Shabbat poem) "ultimate joy arrives, 2 in place of 1". The 1, the complete unity of before creation, is replaced by an apparent 2, which is really the unified multiplicity of after creation. The truer unity. Before the creation of the world, before the breaking of complete unity, there needed to be a phenomenon in place in order to insure that the confused multiplicity which is about to come will, in time, due to its very nature of disunifying, arrive at a place of true return, which is as far as possible from its original source yet as close as possible at the same time.
To understand this in a clearer, more practical way, let us open the book "Lights of Teshuva" by our beloved teacher, Rav Kook. In the first chapter he gives an outline of the 3 steps of Teshuva, the first half of the first step concerns ones physical health. He says that "this phase of Teshuva is linked in a profound way with the other [higher] forms of Teshuva." (For the next 2 ½ steps check out the book)
With the above insight, we can now understand these words of Rav Kook. The great spiritual "light" that we all yearn for is naturally inherent within us as well as within every detail of creation. It is our very essence, it is what we are made of. We don't need to ultimately release ourselves of this restrictive physical reality in order to experience the spiritual. If we were meant to be angels we would have been created as such. What we need is to reconnect with the physical level of the world, but not as an enemy of our spiritual conquest, rather as a true ally. We must not view the physical as a thing unto itself, rather as a manifestation of some a higher reality. A chet (sin) is literally a disconnecting of the physical and the spiritual. When I use the world towards my own selfish desires I am ignoring any all-inclusive spiritual dimension and thereby disconnecting it from its source. On the other hand when I don't make any use of the world whatsoever, in order to try to reach a high "spiritual" level, I am also making a disconnection. There are many details as to how we should act in the world, what to make use of, and what to avoid. There are actually 3 levels. Those things which are required, those things which are forbidden, and an intermediate level called Reshut which are those things that are neither fundamentally required nor forbidden.
Kabalisticly, the physical, bodily aspect of creation is the feminine aspect. It is the receiving side. The spiritual aspect is masculine. The Talmud teaches that for a man to divorce his wife he needs to go through a physical intermediary. He needs to write a Get (divorce document), he cannot just say "get lost" (excuse the pun). He needs to bring his intentions down into defined physical terms. Gittin is an entire tractate devoted to explaining the many legalities of this procedure. The Yeshiva began with the 4th chapter that brings a few cases where the man sends a Get to his wife with a messenger and then changes his mind and decides to nullify the Get. We don't have the capacity to discuss all the details here but the overall discussion regards how defined in actual terms the man's intentions have to be in order to nullify the Get that is on its way to his wife. We know that intentions are not enough and that there has to be some action that reflects the intention. Even if his actions and words say "I want to take it back" and if he is yelling at his own hired messenger that he changed his mind, there is an presumption that he doesn't sincerely mean what he is now saying and that his true intention may be to cause harm to his wife so we may thereby ignore his words and consider her nevertheless divorced. The subject concludes that the concrete action of his nullifying the Get has to outdo in its degree of worldliness the prior action of his sending the Get. It has to outdo it by time and space. He has to physically arrive before the document and he can't just intend in his mind that he doesn't mean it. There was one loophole however. He could have gone to a Jewish court on his own and nullify the Get without having to go through the effort of catching up with his wife or the messenger. However, thank G-d, Rabbi Gamliel the Elder issued a decree saying it is forbidden. His reason was "Tikun Olam", bringing the world to its ultimate fulfillment.
There are healthy relationships and there are unhealthy relationships. Sometimes we take on habits that physically harm us, other times we take on negative character traits that harm our character. The "marriage" of these negative habits are the divorce of any positive habits which would be in their place. In order to completely divorce ourselves from the negative we must replace it with positive traits in as REAL terms. Are we just going to try to earn brownie points by doing some good actions on the side, or are we going to make it as much a part of our lives as the negative once was? To take G-d out of our lives, to divorce our activity from any kind of spiritual intention is to separate the imminent presence of G-d in the details of our created reality with the transcendent aspect of G-d who is above all possible conception. This separation of the name of G-d is the cause of all evil in the world.
"When you go out to war against your enemies". The inner aspect of war is one against the evil inclination. Rashi says this is an optional war (Milchemet Reshut), the intermediate level that we spoke about above. It is neither inherently bad nor inherently good, it is what we make of it. In an optional war we are allowed to take captives. Three major examples of permissible things which fall in this category and can be used for either good or evil are sex, money, and food. It is taught that the things in this intermediate category have the greatest potential for good as well as the greatest potential for evil. The good in this level is only able to be completely "attained" after we go through the "commanded war" by constantly living in a mindset of removing all clearly negative traits and acquiring whatever positive within our reach. Once we surround ourselves in this lifestyle can we search through the "permissible" category and acquire "captives". When these captives are acquired we are warned to make sure they remain for the sole purpose for which they were acquired, and that is to reveal the Light of G-d laying within that detail of creation. If we forget this, and begin to abuse these areas of life by using them for the fulfillment of our own selfish desires, we can, G-d forbid, further corrupt what we first set out to fix.
"When you see among your captives a woman of beautiful form, and you desire her, and you take her for yourself as a wife…" The intermediate actions which are neither inherently evil nor good, are usually the most desirable, the three main ones we mentioned are those things without which the world cannot physically survive. By using these things to serve Hashem we are fulfilling what we say in Shema: "bechol livavcha - with all your heart" which is interpreted as telling us to serve Hashem with our evil inclination as well as our good inclination. This week's parasha tells us how to do this in the correct way. First we must know whether we are honest with ourselves in that our intentions are pure, and we truly intend to reveal Goodness with it and not abuse it or use it for selfish desires. "You shall bring her to the midst of your house (the most essential part of your life), and she shall shave her head, and let her nails grow. She shall remove the garment of her captivity from upon herself (rashi - because they are attractive) and she shall sit in your house and she shall cry for her father and mother for a month of days thereafter you may come to her and live with her, and she shall be your wife. And if you do not desire her you must send her away free since you have violated her." The way to know if we are ready for the important task of Tikun Olam is to first remove any form of selfish attractiveness towards this neutral area of our lives and if it still cries out to connect to its source, you are ready to make it a part of your life. If however it then becomes undesirable to you, it reveals that your attractiveness was selfish and you must not receive any added pleasure from it. You must use it in a way where you get no "profit".
Don't get overwhelmed by the task at hand. Complete Teshuva can be done every moment. Any moment that we are moving in the right direction and reaching our full potential, we are fixing the world. Let us set our hearts on the goal, our eyes on the ground and MOVE!
Return to who you are
Return to what you are
Return to where you were born and reborn again
Return again
Return again
Return to the land of your soul…
(The Moshav Band)