Jim was flipping through the New Yolk Times classifieds for the third time this morning, slowly losing hope of ever finding a job. ‘Every one I call is looking for someone with experience. How am I supposed to get experience if no one’ll hire me?’ He cried out, exasperated. But then, just as he was about to give up and toss the paper, a small, unobtrusive ad somehow caught his attention. It read, “Looking for holyman. No experience necessary. Call Frank immediately at 410-410-410.”
‘This is it! No experience necessary!’ Jim excitedly grabbed the phone.
‘Hello. Frank here.’
‘Uh, Hi. I’m calling about your ad?’
‘Have you ever been in a position of holiness before?’
‘Um, no.’
‘Have you ever performed a holy deed?’
‘Not that I know of.’
‘Have you any aspiration whatsoever to be holy?’
‘Well, I never really thought of it before.’
‘Great! You’re hired! I’ll come pick you up in the morning.’
The man hung up leaving Jim staring at the receiver stupefied.
‘It’s really not that difficult.’ Frank said, as they strolled through Eccentral Park. ‘All you have to do is gain complete mastery over all of the ingrained forces and natural tendencies within you, including all the allurements and inclinations associated with them, and then place them at the disposal of Hashem’s Will.’ He said with a smile.
‘You call that not difficult?’ Jim shot him a sideward glance.
‘Absolutely not. Just prepare yourself to be constantly and unremittingly dedicated and available for all that is good.’
Jim stopped walking and lifted his hands. ‘Uh, I think you made a mistake Mr. Frank. Your ad said, and I quote, ‘No experience necessary’. What you’re describing here is for some buddahzenyoga dude. You have the wrong guy.’ He said, taking a few steps back.
‘Jim. Relax. I already told you. You got the job. Don’t worry. Why don’t you join me here on this bench. There’s something I want to show you.’
Mr. Frank sat down, crossed his legs and produced a Torah Book.
Now’s my chance to escape from this loony, thought Jim. But another voice entered his head, reminding him of the alternative to taking the job:
UNEMPLOYED!! IN GREEDLAND!!
Jim shuddered at the thought and sat at the far end of the bench.
‘Let me tell you something, Jim. Do you know that you are created in the image of God?’
‘That’s what the Bible says, right?’
‘And are you aware of the implications of such a statement?’
‘Not a clue, sir.’ Jim answered wryly, not sure where Frank was going with all this.
‘This means that all of the creative forces Hashem employed in the creating of all existences and realities He placed within you. And He gave you the ability to use them as you please. But you must first learn how and when they work.’
‘Look here at the second verse of this week’s Parsha,’ Frank said, leaning closer, “Speak to the entire Israelite community and say to them, ‘You will be holy, for I, Hashem your God, am holy.’”
‘This is one of only two times in the entire Torah that Moshe is told to, ‘speak to the entire Israelite community’. Do you know where the second one appears?’
‘Uh, by the command to eat the Pascal Lamb?’
Frank lifted an amused eyebrow in Jim’s direction. ‘Lucky guess.’
He cleared his throat and continued, ‘This phrase is repeated here to teach us that just as every Son of Israel has an inherent desire to be free, so too does he have an ingrained ability to be holy.’
‘All right. I’ll buy that.’ Jim stated, sitting back on the bench, more relaxed. Gazing out across the lawn he asked, ‘So how does one become this holyman?’
‘Ahh. I thought you’d never ask.’ Frank retorted with obvious pleasure. ‘The secret lays in my phone number.’
‘Say what?’ Jim turned to face the man.
‘410 is the numerical value of Ararat, the mountain upon which rested Noah’s ark.’
‘You’re losing me, man.’
‘Every thing in Hashem’s universe has its unique, specific function which can only be realized or perceived when one discerns its place in the larger framework of creation.’
‘You mean, like, see-ing the big-ger pic-ture?’ Jim said, with exaggerated contempt for Frank’s choice of intellectually inclined words.
‘Exactly.’ He returned, seeming not to notice. ‘Mt. Ararat is the tallest of all mountains, affording the widest of views. Next, once you learn to rise above your earthly desires and see better, you can begin to ‘hear’ the secrets contained in the daily reading of the Shema, which, incidentally, also equals 410. And so, by slowly purifying all of your senses, they will become more fine tuned and aligned with the path of holiness, transforming you into a Kadosh, a holyman, which, if you haven’t guessed by now, adds up to 410.’
‘One last note, if you choose not to traverse this path, there’s another word of 410 you will fall back into. Your pre-Pascal lamb state of constriction and non-creativity. You’ll be going Lemitzrayim!’ Mr. Frank folded his arms looking very content with himself.
‘How do you know I’m cut out for the job?’ Jim asked.
‘Because Hashem only demands things of us which He is certain we can accomplish. Remember, you have the potential to emulate God’s actions… ‘You will be holy, because I, Hashem your God, am holy…..
‘Thanks for calling, Jim. Now get to work, and have a wonderful Shabbat.’