Friends - the last parasha of the book of Exodus is "Pikudei" which literally means counting or assessing. The beginning of the parasha features yet another angle on the building of the mishkan (portable Temple): this time we are given the account of the raw materials used in the building of the Mishkan. Such and such an amount of gold was used, this much silver, this much iron, etc. And once again, we are left to wonder just how many angles of the building of the mishkan we need to see - regardless of the fact that the mishkan represents a total revolution in the way humans interact with the Divine. Still, those who write on the weekly portion can only make up so many ways of portraying this repetitious information as interesting. Well, this writer has had enough. He quits.
Ok, one more try. The Netziv, a relatively modern commentator on the Torah, writes that the accounting of raw materials used in the mishkan was to show that every ounce of gold and silver and the like that was contributed to the mishkan was used. For example, the 100 kikar of silver plus 1775 shekels of silver that were collected were exactly the amount of silver used for the silver spikes to attach the mishkan to the earth, plus the silver bases into which were set the boards which formed the walls of the sanctuary.
The Zohar writes that no single intention or movement toward Hashem (G-d) is lost. Every gesture we make toward bringing ourselves closer to Hashem still exists -though it may not have come to fruition in any tangible way. Rebbe Natan has a beautiful explanation for the passage in Gemara Megillah that says "If someone says 'I have struggled, but I have not found (succeeded)', don't believe him. And if someone says 'I did not struggle, but I found', don't believe him. But if he says 'I have struggled and I found', believe him." So Rebbe Natan asks, why do you have to believe him? If he struggled and found, it should be clear to the naked eye what he has achieved! But what it's really saying is that he has struggled, and he has succeeded, even if it is not clear to the eye.
On Purim, as the gemarra Megillah says, "A man is obligated to become drunk." There are many interpretations -we choose the most simple. What does it mean to be drunk? It means you let it all out - the silly things come out, you say things you wouldn't ordinarily say. You let go of your composure: if you still have your composure, you are not really drunk. How drunk must one get? The Gemara states, "Until one doesn't know the difference between 'blessed is Mordecai (the hero of the Purim story)' and 'cursed is Haman (the villain)'." The commentator MaHarSha explains that one must not be thinking about the results of one's actions, whether he is acting righteously, like Mordecai, and therefore worthy of reward, or whether one is acting like Haman, and therefore liable. In fact, according to many opinions, one is not responsible for damage he does to someone else's property on Purim (so if you're hosting, take the photos off the wall, move out all the furniture, etc.). After the discussion of blurring distinctions come the famous section called the "ein bein"'s, a term which means, "there is no difference between x and y except z." For example, if one does a certain act on Shabbat, the punishment is one thing, and if he does the same thing on another holiday, it is a different punishment. And then: the only difference between a person who has seen an emission for two days, and one who has seen an emission for three is …, and on and on. But by juxtaposing these issues with "until you do not know the difference between 'blessed is Mordecai' and 'cursed is Haman'", the Gemara seems to imply that Purim is really the only day we have when you should not at all think about distinctions within yourself - i.e.: "this is stuff I want to let out, and this is stuff I don't want to let out, this is stuff I do identify with, and this is stuff I don't identify with". And then, "this guy I like, and this guy I don't like."
In fact, the Gemara asks elsewhere, "where do we find Haman in the Torah?" meaning, "where do we find the idea of Haman, who appears in later scriptures, hinted at in the Five Books of Moses?" And the answer is "Ha-min (same Hebrew letters as Haman) ha'etz asher tziviticha…" - this is the moment of G-d asking Adam "have you eaten from the tree (of knowledge of good and evil) of which I commanded you not to eat?" This tree is the tree of distinction - it is that in us which allows us to say "this is good and this is bad." Haman represents that element. And on this day of Purim, we are encouraged to not think in such terms. The story of Purim itself is supposed to tell us that everything is good, even stuff which seems bad.
So Rebbe Natan writes that we get drunk on Purim and do all kinds of dumb things, and they all turn into the greatest assets in our service of G-d. Every bit of gold and silver that is donated to the mishkan is used. And everything that comes out on Purim, everything we have been hiding since last year, or all of our lives, all the different sides of ourselves that we didn't know we could bring in to our relationship with the Almighty, all these aspects of ourselves that we thought were ugly and really had nothing to do with us, all of this is contributed to the Mishkan as we fulfill the commandment to be drunk on Purim - and it all, all of it, goes into the construction of the Temple in which we serve G-d. Amazing!
Rav Gavriel Goldfeder
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Rav Gavriel Goldfeder is one of the first semicha recipients of the yeshiva. A graduate of Drew University in Religious Studies, he came to Bat Ayin after stints in other yeshivot and found a spiritual and intellectual home. Here he met his wife, Ketriellah, who was a student in our short-lived Women's Yeshiva. Upon graduation, Gavriel took the position of rabbi of the Aish Kodesh Congregation in Boulder, Colorado and together with Ketriellah and their growing family, they are busy creating (in Gavriel's words), "a community infused with Torah values, passion for learning and prayer, consideration of one another, and action, as well as deep celebration of the joys of life." |