The Mishna in Nedarim (9:10) teaches that if someone vows not to marry a woman because she is ugly, and she is really beautiful, he can marry her because he was mistaken. The Mishna brings a story to illustrate this point:
"It once happened that a man vowed not to marry his niece. They brought her to Rabbi Yishmael, and he beautified her. Rabbi Yishmael said to the man, "Is this the one you vowed not to marry?" And the man said, "No way!" So Rabbi Yishmael annulled the vow and permitted them to marry. Then Rabbi Yishmael wept, and he said, "The daughters of Israel are beautiful; it is the poverty which makes them ugly!" When he died, all the Jewish women mourned and wailed over him.
True Tzaddikim uncover the beauty of every person. They teach us: If anyone tells you a Jew is ugly, don't believe him. If anyone tells you the Jewish people are ugly, they are sadly mistaken. Jews are so beautiful; it's only poverty and suffering that distorts our features.
Once a woman came to Reb Moshe-Leib Sassover. She was heartbroken because no one wanted to marry her, she was a little bit poverty-stricken, shall we say. Reb Moshe-Leib sat her down, and, with all the Chasidim standing there, he placed his scarf around her shoulders. Then he walked around her, saying over and over, "Feigile, you are so beautiful. You're so, so beautiful." And she started crying, and then she started laughing. As far as I remember, no miracle happened; that was the miracle: a rebbe saw the beauty in a Jewish girl, and so she saw it too.
Rabbi Yishmael is the one who said, "The Torah speaks in the language of people." I never understood this idea until I read the above Mishna. The Torah is a Torah of compassion; the 13 ways of interpreting the Torah (also taught by Rabbi Yishmael) parallel the 13 attributes of G-d's mercy. G-d actually changes letters and words of the holy Torah so that we will be able to relate to it! This is the biggest gift in the world. The Torah was revealed to us so that we might be revealed. Angels don't need the Torah: their outsides are their insides. But we are so hidden. May we see each others' true beauty, and our own!
Rav Ariel Burger
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Rav Ariel Burger received his ordination from Yeshivat Bat Ayin in 2003. He is currently completing his doctoral work at Boston University, where he studies under Professor Elie Weisel. Ariel lives in Sharon, Massachusetts with his wife and four children. |