This week began with the tenth of Tevet, a fast day for the Jewish world. Some know it as the day that was appointed for saying kaddish for those who perished in the Holocaust without leaving even one family member behind to honor their yahrtzeits. But for me this is always a day on the joyous side: the yahrtzeit of my beloved teacher, Reb Natan Sternhartz of Breslov. There is much I could write about his unbelievable poetic writing, writing that flows without effort. Or about his unending faith in G-d and his optimism and strength - anyone who studies his letters, his personal history, can only admit there is no parallel. His bitul to his Rebbe - what can we say?
But ultimately his strength in my eyes is seen best in relation to his… lackings. He was, self-admittedly, one who thought too much, constantly holding himself back because of his mind. Rebbe Nachman taught in a way that gave the sense that you could learn from anything - from nature, from relationships, not just from Torah. Reb Natan never let himself go there, always needing a proof from the text. It was almost like he was afraid to say anything of his own, though he always did. He struggled much of his life with his wife, and shalom bayit wasn't perhaps his strongest point.
And yet, despite all this, he was able to shine through, teaching Torah and ideas that are relevant today both for the deepest, most spiritual, person and the lowest shlepper at the same time. His translations and explanations enhance Rebbe Nachman's work - giving them a life and a dimension they never would have had. And the deepest point is that he was able to translate all his failures, his lackings, into the service of G-d. I don't need to go on and on here: just read his letters (Alim Litrufah), and his teachings (Likuttei Halachot). Also his prayers (Likuttei Tefillot): they are so powerful and personal.
Most of all he taught me the power of going beyond oneself. As he once said - "It is true - I cannot fix my faults, but G-d? - G-d can do anything!" He also gave me much insight into the difference between imitation and emulation. We must learn from the examples before us, and, in the words of Shlomo Carlebach z"l, "we must do our own thing and continue where they began."
I feel that what I have written isn't really adequate to express my love and my gratitude. Reb Natan is so much more than what I've expressed here, but I don't have his gift of powerful writing. So let the words go out of my heart, rather than my computer, and into the hearts of those listening, to perhaps be something more real than mere constricted words. I bless us all to be students of Reb Natan and to take his teachings beyond
Rav Raz Hartman
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Rav Raz Hartman, born to Israeli parents, grew up in Southern California. He was attending U.S.C., majoring in Music Peformance, when he met Rav Natan Greenberg. That meeting eventually result in Raz's coming to the Bat Ayin Yeshiva, where he studied for six years and was given Semichah in 2003. He is married to Leah, and they live, with their three children, in Nachla'ot, Jerusalem. Raz serves as Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshivat Simchat Shlomo, and founder of the v'Ani Tefillah minyan. He has produced several albums of Jewish music. |