(Based on lecture by Rav Yeshayahu Zeff)
Here we are, Am Yisrael, waiting, shivering at the base of the mountain. Mount Sinai! The place that set in motion the I in me and the YOU in you. The revelation at Mount Sinai planted the seed of potential that would become the Jewish people. Here we are, all as one, waiting at the base of the mountain.
Then… “Va yotsey moshe et ha'am leek-rat ha'Elokhim min h'ma-cha-neh va'yeet-yatz-vou ba'tach-teet ha'har.” – “Moses brought the people forth from the camp toward G-d, and they stood under the mountain” (Shemot/Exodus 19:16). Now, what does that mean – “ba'tach-teet (under) the mountain”? Rashi teaches that the simple meaning is “at the base of the mountain”, and then he gives us a Midrash teaching that the mountain was picked up from its place and held over us like a tub.
Just great! Hashem does all these wonders for us in Egypt and frees us after 200 years of slavery and very kindly brings us across the sea, and finally brings us to Mount Sinai, and then He holds a mountain over our head and says, “Take this Torah or else!” What kind of a stunt is that?! It seems our wonderful Savior led us into a trap! Was there any other choice for Am Yisrael but to accept the Torah? Weren’t we coerced into “receiving the Torah”?
The Gemara brings an aggadah explaining this encounter (Shabbat 88a): “At the base of the mountain – Rav Avdimdi bar Chama bar Chasa said, this teaches that G-d overturned the mountain on them like a barrel and said to them, ‘If you accept the Torah, good, and if not, there will be your grave.’ … Rav said, in spite of that, they accepted the Torah in the days of Ahashverosh, as it is written, ‘the Jews affirmed and accepted’ (Megillat Esther 9:27) – they affirmed what they had already accepted.” According to this discussion in the Gemara, though Am Yisrael was forced to accept the Torah at Sinai, we later affirmed our acceptance after we were saved from Haman’s plot to destroy us.
There is another interpretation of “b'tach-teet”. The Maharshah contradicts Rashi’s simple explanation and continues by painting a picture in which we were not forced: “It doesn't say we were ‘at the base of the mountain’, it says, ‘ba'tach-teet’. This implies that Am Yisrael was ‘in the underness’ or ‘inside the bottom’ of the mountain.” So the Maharshah teaches that we were in the mountain. This was no threat. Mt. Sinai was the Torah! Hashem put us into the Torah. This is how we became Jews, we were “brought forth” to stand in the Torah”. This was a process we needed to go through, a spiritual, mystical transformation. Our existence is forever changed as a result. We ate the red pill and we're still snooping around the rabbit hole to see where it may lead…
There are at least two ways to approach this “in the mountain” business. On one hand, you might feel protected, nurtured, or blessed; on another you might feel trapped, confined, or suffocated. Is being in the mountain – in the Torah – a refuge or a grave? Really, each of us decides how s/he wants to feel.
The first midrash, brought by Rashi and the Gemara, raises an important question, if we were forced to accept Torah against our will, why should we keep Torah? This is a struggle that many people have with Torah and mitzvoth in general. The mitzvoth feel like a burden or a strangle-hold and not at all freeing and nurturing. People often ask me, ‘Why would you want to live by a system that tells you ‘Do this! Don’t do that! … And wash your hands like this in the morning and like this before eating…” AAAHAHH!! What does it all mean...?! Don't you want to be free?!’
The second half of the discussion in the Gemara brings the beginning of an answer: there was a second receiving of Torah at the time of Achashverosh (a receiving we’ll soon celebrate with Purim!). Maybe the first receiving of Torah was forced, but so what? At Purim, we [began to] understand that Torah can nourish and protect. Whatever happened at Mount Sinai, eventually we said, ‘This Torah is beautiful!’ According to the Maharal, “The mitzvah of Purim is the first mitzvah that is not in the Torah”, that is to say, celebrating Purim is the first mitzvah decreed by the rabbis. What’s this? We created more mitzvoth?! Why would we make another mitzvah if mitzvoth are suffocating? Purim, in some ways, is a holiday about ultimate liberation. If Purim is about liberation and Purim is when we affirm our acceptance Torah, then the mitzvoth and all the holy Torah must be liberating. Purim is the ultimate affirmation of the love of Torah and the only holiday that is everlasting. Making the mitzvah of Purim shows us that the Torah can be so sweet that we want more! And this wanting more demonstrates our deep desire to get closer to Hashem. Even for the one who has been coerced, if s/he has the will, there can be a second acceptance fully his/her doing.
And know, there is no “Torah Jew” – or any other label. There is only one kind of Jew. Really, there is really only one Jew. All Jews embody supernal, cosmic Jew. We were all there at Sinai. We all have the potential to reflect the internal essence given us at Sinai. There are external forces that pull us away from our inner-truth and interfere with letting us grow to our potential and fullest self-actualization, but we are – and must be – in our essence “YiSRa’eL” – “YaShaR-’EL” – “straight to G-d”. Sometimes we make hurtful associations. The Torah is not external, it is completely internal; Torah is an expression of who we are in our essence. Rav Kook says, “No one can truly acquire a path unless it flows from his inner being, from his inner essence, but not from that which comes from the outside, for external things cannot generate true happiness. But are not the Torah and the commandments the essence of joy, and yet they come from without?! However, if we contemplate deeply, we will find that each person gains from the Torah and commandments only that which was hidden within them.” Rav Kook is explaining the ultimate in self-recognition. Hashem wants us to uncover our hidden treasures that will take the world by storm. Everyone is unique and has their own role to play in serving the Most High. So, we need to go inside, meditate, and tap into the essence.
So, with this Sinai energy in the air once again, we should all be blessed to receive the Torah anew and see that the Torah is nourishing. We should merit to uncover what has already been planted with-in us and understand that Hashem's protection is within Torah, and only by diving into the depths of the wisdom of our people can we connect to our unique relationship with The Most High. Recognize your uniqueness and don’t be afraid to express it!!
Shabbat Shalom