Ya'akov never rests. He cannot - there is so much to do in the world. When he leaves Lavan's house - he is out of the frying pan - but into the fire of Eisav.
When Ya'akov sends messengers to Eisav, why does he tell him 'I've got donkeys and sheep and servants!'? 'Hi, how are you' is a traditional greeting. According to Midrash Tanchuma, Ya'akov sends word to Eisav about his possessions because he wants Eisav to know that, despite Lavan's trickery, he still made it out intact. More than intact - rich, even. So Ya'akov is telling Eisav he is quite capable, and he's not going to be bullied around by anyone.
But then Ya'akov realizes he is actually scared. And he is disturbed that he is scared - "Va'yira, va'yatzer lo". He sees that even though he beat Lavan, his issues with (and fear of) Eisav are deeper than anything Lavan could do to him. Because Eisav knows both sides of him.
So what happens? Ya'akov wrestles with an angel. According to many opinions, that angel was the very 'angel of Eisav'. Every nation has an angel (we need to work real hard to go beyond the Sunday school understanding of an angel), a purely spiritual being who is the conduit for divine power into the entity it represents. Ya'akov fights with the root of Eisav and holds his own. And then, when finally he sees the flesh and blood Eisav, he isn't scared any longer. In fact, he is excited - 'Seeing your face is like seeing the face of Elokim.'
This is a very deep teaching, and if you think you know it, let it touch you again and see how much it is still necessary in your life. So often our issues with others really have nothing to do with them. And yet we take it out on them, and we think that if we can defeat them, then we can defeat our own demons. Our demons must be confronted head-on. And when we do confront them, what we find is another face of G-d. Notice also that Ya'akov does not defeat the angel - he only holds his own. And this is winning. In confronting demons, merely confronting them is the victory. The mere act of getting past the illusion that this person or that is the source of the problems, and recognizing the fact that there are deeper issues within, this act is victory.
Rav Gavriel Goldfeder
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Rav Gavriel Goldfeder is one of the first semicha recipients of the yeshiva. A graduate of Drew University in Religious Studies, he came to Bat Ayin after stints in other yeshivot and found a spiritual and intellectual home. Here he met his wife, Ketriellah, who was a student in our short-lived Women's Yeshiva. Upon graduation, Gavriel took the position of rabbi of the Aish Kodesh Congregation in Boulder, Colorado and together with Ketriellah and their growing family, they are busy creating (in Gavriel's words), "a community infused with Torah values, passion for learning and prayer, consideration of one another, and action, as well as deep celebration of the joys of life." |