The world usually thinks that the whole depth of the Akeidah is how Avraham was willing to do God’s will unconditionally – even if he couldn’t understand why God would want a father to do such a thing to his son. And sometimes we think how Avraham was willing to do God’s will at the Akeidah even though there was an irreconcilable paradox between the revelation to schecht Yitzhak and the revelation that “In Yitzhak will I establish your seed.” Of course, all this describes incredible levels of Avodas Hashem. Yet the Izbitzer says, really, the Akeidah is much deeper than, “can I do what God tells me to do?” Remember, this was Avraham’s final and deepest test from God – he was already on the level of doing God’s will without hesitation. What was new about the Akeidah?
The Mai ha-Shiloach draws our attention to how the test is introduced in the Torah: “Elokim nisah et Avraham…” Elokim tested Avraham. The Zohar ha-Kodesh says you have to know that the name “Elokim” always hints at a revelation of God that’s seen through an unclear lens, as opposed to the clarity implied by God’s name “Hashem” (Yud-Kay-Vav-Kay.) The Izbitzer is saying that the revelation to schecht Yitzhak was not clear, not explicit. In other words, Avraham didn’t know whether it was God’s will for him to schecht his son or not!
That’s why the Torah doesn’t say God was testing Yitzhak – because Yitzhak believed his father had been shown clearly that this was the will of God. O for him, the Izbitzer says “it wasn’t such a test.” What a gevalt thing to say! But you see, of course Yitzhak was will to give his life for God, to do anything for Him. This is one level, that if I know what God needs from me, I’ll do it – despite all the difficuties, despite my lack of understanding why God needs me to do it, I’ll do it.
The Akeidah was Avraham’s test because Avraham didn’t know what to do! He didn’t know what God’s will was for him, no– it just wasn’t clear at all! So Avraham was the one who really had a test, who really had a choice – to stay at home or to head towards Mount Moriah. To go to schecht his son would be to take a tremendous risk – maybe this is not the will of Hashem! Maybe I’m killing my son, and thus all the holy people God promised me would come from him, and I got it all wrong – it wasn’t even God’s will. Whereas if Avraham just stays home, really he has a very good excuse – “God, it just wasn’t clear what You wanted from me. I would have done it for You, bu7t I didn’t know. It just didn’t seem possible that You would want… if only You’d made things more clear…” But this is not Avraham Avinu! Avraham is not about making excuses to God, trying to get off the hook. Avraham wants to serve God in the deepest way there is. Because if I play it safe, there’s no way I can really give myself over to serving God completely.
Why does Avraham call himself “dust and ashes?” The Mai ha-Shiloach says, when I enter a doubtful situation, it can come out either of two ways. Either like dust, which looks not so good, but something beautiful can grow from it, or like ashes, just a total, terrible loss. The ashes of Yitzhak. If Yitzhak had been schechted, chas v’shalom, there would have been no tikkun, no way to fix it. So if I stay at home, if I play it safe, you know, the Izbitzer says it’s true, I’m not risking a painful loss. Okay, but I can’t really grow without taking risks, either. Avraham always wanted to grow in his service of God. It takes being willing to risk everything to grow to the deepest levels of Avodas Hashem.
Avraham said, “I could stay at home – but then I’ll never grow. I’ll never be real. If I stay at home, it’s really just because I’m so biased in this situation, since I love my son so much – that I’m not willing to go towards what God has yet to show me. It would mean being content to live life confined by my own limitations, my own biases. I must strive beyond that! I want to truly serve Hashem, not my own ego!” And Avraham arose early, willing to risk everything, really the whole world, for the sake of growing in the most real way, of serving God in the truest way. From Avraham’s perspective, it was a tremendous risk; yet as the Zohar says, and the Izbitzher loves to quote, “no good intention is ever lost.” Avraham’s intention was so unbelieveably pure and high, that Hashem saved him from the loss he was willing to risk, from the ashes, and instead granted him tremendous growth. This was the final test, where Avraham at last grew to be the truest Avraham, the truest eved Hashem, he could be. Through the Akeidah, risking the loss of the Jewish People chas v’shalom, the Jewish People were really born. Because how could the Jews, how could Tikkun Olam, come about through a man who stays at home, a person who merely plays it safe in his service of God? Redemption can only come through the willingness to take risks for God, through having the integrity to test our own integrity, and being willing to let God help us grow beyond ourselves.