MY NAME IS...

'Hi there. I'm Baruch. What's your name?'
--'Do you have a last name?'
'Excuse me? Um, yeah. Dershovon. Baruch Dershovon. And yours?'
--'So what would you prefer I call you? Mr. Dershovon? Just Baruch, or..What's your profession? Do you have a title? Like Doctor, Rabbi, something like that?'
'Actually I have Semicha and a PhD in psychology, but really, you can call me whatever you wish. My friends call me Barney. Really, whatever you like, sir, is fine.'
--'Whatever you like, sir, is fine'? Are you serious? Do you not care in the slightest how you are perceived by me?'
'We're at a wedding. I'm just trying to make casual conversation.'
--'Casual shmasual. What you're doing here is looking for recognition.'
'Recognition? That's a rather pompous assumption to make of a total stranger isn't it?'
--'You're the one going around spilling your name around as if it were some gold medal you earned in last week's winter Olympics.'
'Listen, if something's bothering you I'd be more than happy to help you work it out.'
--'Is that Rabbi Baruch Dershovon talking or is it Doctor Barney?'
'Would you mind telling me what you're trying to accomplish here?'
--'All I'm saying is that you shouldn't be so quick to introduce yourself. What ever name you offer is meaningless to me. I don't know you. The best you can do is to stigmatize yourself without ever knowing what hit you. How do you know that I wasn't turned off by Rabbis as a child or traumatized by a strange man who lived downstairs from me named Baruch or weirded out by the school psychologist?'
'Well, I guess I never considered...'
--'Darn right you didn't consider.'
'And what's your name?'
--'What would you like it to be?'
'What would I what? What do you mean? I was just asking you your name.'
--'I know, and I repeat, what would you like to call me?'
'Well, if you tell me your name I'll gladly call you by it.'
--No, no, no. It doesn't work like that.'
'What are you talking about?'
--'When you ask me for my name, what you're really looking for is a word to store in your memory bank that you could associate to my face so that the next time you see me you'll have a frame of reference with which to call upon me to invite me to converse with you, right?'
'I don't know what you're talking about man. I just asked you for a name. If you really don't want to tell me then just say so.'
--'Listen, Baruch, take a good look at me and choose a combination of letters which you feel will captivate the essence of our little interaction here.'
'Are you serious?'
--'Yes I am. What does our relationship mean to you?'
'Relationship?! I don't even know your name! What are you on?'
--'So you don't want to name me?'
'Listen man...'
--'Man? That could work.'
'No! What? Wait a minute. Let me get this straight. You want me to pretend like you don't have a name? Like you were just born and it's up to me to give you an identity?'
--No. I already have parents who did that. Before I could even see my own feet they're already projecting their hopes and aspirations upon me. That's what happens at the beginning of the book of Shemoth. Were you aware of that?'
'I haven't the slightest clue as to what you're referring.'
--'Ayleh shemoth binay Yisrael' It's not about the children, It's all about the Big Daddy, Yisrael. You think parents actually think about their kids when they name them? I don't remember being consulted with. It's their way of controlling us and determining our destinies by trapping us into a little box with a label on it that follows us everywhere we go.'
'Dude, if you're that sour at your parents for sticking you with a name you don't like, you could have it legally changed without hassle.'
--'Hey! I love my name. How dare you even consider offering me such hostile advice?'
'Whoa, hold on a minute there. Either I totally misunderstood every word you said or you're schizo.'
--'I wouldn't take it that far. I have an identity but it has nothing to do with you. If you want to get to know me then you have to initiate the formation of the beginning which will create the dynamics of what could either wither away as a vague memory of our paths having once crossed or develop into a flourishing, ever expanding and revealing union of two souls.'
'I'm not sure I followed everything you just said but for the sake of moving on with my life I'm gonna call you Weirdo.'
--'Suit yourself. If that's the way you want to relate to me, it's better than a meaningless word that you'd forget as soon as this interaction ends.'
'What's your trip, Weirdo? Do you do this with everyone you meet?'
--'Pretty much. It's just my way of reminding people that it's not what my name means that is noted, rather it's the meanings created through our interactions that gets attributed to my name. So I'd rather not even offer a name to become the object of our biased judgements and assessments. I'm having trouble enough creating my own identity let alone having to deal with the one you create for me. Listen, Mr. Baruch, if you walk away from this conversation with one thing, let it be this: The following is written in the Midrash Koheleth Rabba,(7,3) "Man was called by three names: 1) The name his parents called him, 2) The name others call him, and 3) The one written as the outcome of his being created (resulting from his creative activity here on earth)." Another version has the third as, "The one he acquires for himself." Basically, we're in the book of Shemoth for the next bunch of weeks ahead of us. The message is clear. We need to emancipate ourselves from the slavery imposed upon us by the names given to us by, first, our parents-don't just become the fulfillment of your parent's dreams. They're the one's that brought us to Egypt in the first place. And secondly, from the names and labels tacked on to us by our friends and environment. It's too easy to go through life living up to the expectations of others and playing even contradictory roles just to be accepted and 'loved' by society, spouse, boss, whoever. Be yourself. At all costs. Let your identity blossom anew every time you gain insight into your natural abilities and unique talents which are yours alone. It was the Israelites ability to maintain their individual names that paved the road which led to their freedom.'
'Well done Weirdo.'
--'By the way, your choice of name couldn't have been more fitting.'
'How so?'
--'The numerical value of Weirdo, when spelled out in Hebrew,(Waw, yud, raysh, daleth, waw) equals 226 which has the same value as the Hebrew words for, 'And they went down(to Egypt), And he chose(to keep his name), And he escaped(from Egypt). On the way, before our eyes, He showed to you (who you could become), And he connected (you to yourself).' And if you add the two of us conversing here, you arrive at 228 which equals Baruch. Nice. Have a good Shevat and don't let any labels prevent that sap from rising'.